Hiding your own feelings for the sake of others

Sometimes in your life you get hit by grief and there are different types; the death of a loved one, loss of a friendship and many others. Whether it is sudden or even if you were expecting it, the impact can be huge for you but not always obvious to others. You think you can manage this when facing the outside world, but sometimes you have to let it out before letting anyone else in.

Recently I faced this but the way I handled it was different to the way I would have done it a year ago. I continued to ensure my head and heart were in the right place during business meetings or client sessions. I removed what was going on with me and put my head in the game. However a year ago that would have been the coping mechanism for work and life outside of it too.

As part of the counselling course I am taking, you get the opportunity to talk about something which is personal to you, maybe something you are currently going through. This is a learning exercise for the ‘Helper’ to listen to a ‘real’ person talking about a ‘real’ situation but it is also a very powerful experience for the person sharing.
When I did this, boy did it feel good to be able to let go and have that space to be heard. I now fully understand the power of letting it out in a trusted environment. If you are able to find a ‘safe’ place and a trusted person you will truly benefit from it.

This experience has helped me be more open with my family and friends on how I am really feeling. I understand now I shouldn’t hide away from my own feelings outside of work. I know I can use the right time to express my upset or frustrations so I can truly be in the room for each client and look after my mental well being at the same time.

What do you do to help yourself?

What is your self care when grief hits you?




‘Helper’ - a person in training and not a qualified counsellor.



Added: 8th July 2020